Monday, June 9, 2008
Beauty more than skin deep
She was sitting there with her legs crossed and her cleavage slightly exposed. Her toenails were painted a little too brightly red and she wore discreet small silver hoop earrings. And I didn't care about any of this even though I noticed it! She was about 42 years old, a mother of two, with lovely brown eyes and her light brown hair pulled back in a ponytail. She was here as friends of my wife's good friend to celebrate the latters' 65th birthday. But she was so animate! And listen to this: a graduate of Harvard Law School. But, most important of all, she's a commentator for VPR on legal and civic issues. And all this made me realize how are society tries to fool us all the time by making us think that what matters are movie star good looks are what matters. Nothing could be further from the truth - and I think in my psyche I always knew this. It's PERSONALITY and INTELLIGENCE that makes someone attractive. Looks hardly matter at all. She speaks out! She speaks out...
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For me personally, it's always been whatever needs my current partner doesn't fill, those are the ones that most important at any given moment. Looks, intelligence, sexual compatibility, kindness, morals, smell, sense of fun, loyalty, optimism, supportiveness... all of these things are really great qualities, and I've always grieved whichever ones are missing. I used to take my intellectual understanding of my needs more seriously, but after extensive experimentation I've concluded that my intellect is easily fooled when it comes to matters of the heart.
I think monogamy is just plain inherently difficult any way you slice it.
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